A good addition to a wedding or anniversary card is a funny quote or one liner. They can put a smile on the recipients face and make something formal seem much less so. So use these funny wedding quotes in your card to friends, family, wife or husband and see them laugh until they cry.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
~Maryon Pearson

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

When you meet the right woman she will sink into your arms, then your arms in her sink.
~P. Hopper

My wife told me we have to separate, the whites from the darks.

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
~Helen Rowland

Everyone is born equal in life, until they get married.

No, please don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them.
~Homer Simpson

Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?
~Groucho Marx

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
~Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
~Joey Adams

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
~Rita Rudner

My wife told me the other day that I don’t take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.
~Helen Rowland


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